With Valentine’s Day only two sleeps away and some awkward first dates on the horizon, we thought it was the perfect time to share our list of top 10 first date mistakes. There’s no denying, that first encounter with someone is hard. You want to impress without being too enthusiastic but at the same time you don’t want to come across as lackadaisical. And you want to be confident without crossing over the cocky line. Our advice is to just be yourself as false advertising isn’t going to get you anywhere in the long run. Unless ‘yourself’ is a total jerk, in which case, you should be anyone else. May the force be with you friends.
10. LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE
Most of us are pretty addicted to checking our phones every few minutes. But there’s nothing worse than sitting across the table from someone you’re trying to get to know when they seem more interested in what’s happening on Facebook (or Tinder) than talking to you.
If this is the case and you’d rather check out what your facey friends had for dinner than show a bit of decorum talk to your date, it’s probably best just to excuse yourself there and then and go back to scratching yourself on the couch.
9. TALKING ABOUT YOUR EX
That’s right, explaining to your date exactly why your ex was such a ball breaker and how you just can’t stand the sight of her anymore is not a great way to kindle the flames of passion. If the subject of ex’s comes up (as it often does on dates) don’t avoid it altogether but it’s probably best to skip over the gruesome details of failed relationships until you get to know each other a little better.
8. GOING IN FOR THE KILL
If you’re thinking about jumping in for a full on pash; don’t. Cool your jets son. If they want you to kiss them, they’ll let you know, either verbally or via their body language. If you’re not sure if they want you to, chances are, it’ll be awkward and really entertaining for anybody who walks by at the time, if you do launch in. Unless they’re standing there at the end of the date with eyes wide shut and lips puckered up, go for a kiss on the cheek. If you’ve done well enough on the first date, chances are, you’ll get a second and third, so ease into it. Slow and steady wins the race my friend.
7. TOO TOUCHY FEELY
You’ve only just met and some people really don’t appreciate having someone all up in their grill. You have to earn the right to invade their personal space. So unless it’s been made explicitly clear that you’re both just after a bit of physicality, keep your hands to yourself.
6. BEING LATE
Let’s be honest here, there’s a good chance she’s going to be running late, but if on the odd chance she’s actually on time, you want to make sure you are too. In fact, get there early. Punctuality demonstrates an ability to be organised and if there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that women hate to wait.
5. NOT MAKING PLANS
Being vague and waiting until the last minute to plan your date, or leaving it to them to organise can give the impression that you’re not really interested in seeing her. It also shows a lack of drive and initiative. Organising a time and place to meet shouldn’t be a process akin to drawing blood from a stone. Think of something they might like, which should be easy if you’ve taken the time to actually listen to what they’re into. Enthusiasm and organisation are both positive attributes so get to work.
4. GETTING DRUNK
You may think you portray a ‘better you’ when drunk but chances are you’re just too drunk to realise all the things you’re doing wrong. Unless you’re still in high school, the ability to slam 10 beers isn’t cool anymore and just increases your chances of doing all the other things on this list. Go easy and if you’re unsure of a reasonable amount, just go one for one with your date… and hope they aren’t an alcoholic.
3. INTERROGATION SESSION
This isn’t Q&A buddy. Don’t ask 50 questions. Let them breathe and allow the conversation to flow naturally. If you’re a little socially awkward or struggle to think of things to talk about, rehearse some questions before you get there. Nobody likes to feel as though they’re on the witness stand. Remember, they want to get to know you too… that’s why they said yes to you when you asked them out.
2. PERVING ON SOMEONE… OTHER THAN YOUR DATE
It’s bad enough to have your date catch your eyes gander south of their face but what’s even worse is getting caught ogling the person on the table next to you. Don’t be the guy that has totally zoned out while having a cheeky look and responds with, “yeah, that’s great” when asked you how many siblings you have. It is human nature to be curious or attracted to beautiful things, but dude, there’s a time and a place.
1. GETTING THEIR NAME WRONG
Nothing will kill the vibe faster than getting their name wrong. If you’ve been on a few first dates of late, and you’re consciously worried about it, perhaps it’s best to just avoid saying a name at all. If you’re half way through the date and you’ve actually got no idea what their parents named them as a child, you can ask her something like, ‘have you got any nicknames?’ You just have to hope that if they do, it isn’t something too obscure like ‘apple’ or ‘butch’. Then you’re in trouble.
