Coming back to work after the holidays is always tough. So we thought we’d put this list of Top Ten Worst Jobs together to remind ourselves that things aren’t so bad, even if we do have to work for a living. If you’re moping around your work place feeling sorry for yourself, take a look through this list and rest assured there are guys out there with jobs far worse than yours – unless you’re a Sulphur Miner!
10. Port-a-loo Cleaner
If you’ve ever been to a music festival or sporting event you are probably familiar with that epitome of foulness that is a port-a-loo in the sun. Now imagine getting out of bed every morning and facing the prospect of cleaning row upon row of these filthy cubicles by hand. This is the lot of the portable toilet cleaner. He is a braver man than I, and I salute him.
9. Pet Food Taster
It’s kind of hard to believe that this job actually exists but apparently it does. Professional pet food tasters are trained to identify flavours that dogs and cats like or don’t like and pick up the nuanced differences in various recipes. A day’s work often consists of opening sample tins of pet food, smelling them and eating them. And then of course, there’s the market research… just make sure you leave room for dinner!
8. Hazmat Diver
Fancy getting neck deep in shit to remove blockages from sewerage pipes? How about diving into a toxic spill to sift through the carcases of dead animals? If this kind of thing is up your ally, Hazmat Diver is the job for you!
These guys go through intense training to undertake one of the dirtiest and most dangerous jobs in the world. Even the tiniest hole in a dry suit can lead to some really nasty infections and of course there’s the ever present danger of drowning in a sea of human excrement.
7. Animal Semen Collector
This one doesn’t bare thinking about in too much detail but in order to artificially inseminate animals and conduct scientific research it is necessary to collect sperm from various animal species. So what’s the most effective way to do this? Well it actually depends on the kind of animal but suffice to say you’re probably going to get your hands dirty!
6. Roadkill Collector
Ever wonder what happens to the menagerie of ‘roos, wombats and feral animals that meet a grisly end on our roads? Well, thanks to a dedicated team of Roadkill Collectors, they are picked up with either a gloved hand or shovel (or even a crane on the big jobs), put on the back of a ute and taken away to be buried in a hole. Unfortunately for these hardworking men and women, individual animals have often been lying on the side of the road in the sun for a week or more before being picked up.
5. Odour tester
If you’ve ever been stuck on a crowded train with someone’s stinky pit in your face, spare a thought for the Odour Tester: these guys sniff underarms for a living! To be fair, they also smell nail polish, garbage bags and toilet cleaner but still I reckon there are easier ways to make a living.
4. Crime Scene Cleaner
Crime Scene Cleaners, AKA Crime and Trauma Scene Decontamination Specialists, are tasked with the unenviable job of restoring the scene of a violent crime, accident, suicide or unattended death to its original condition. Definitely not a job for those with a weak stomach!
3. Sulphur Miner
Just scoot up the side of the 2600 metre high volcano; make your way around the world’s largest steaming, sulphuric acid lake; wrap an old rag around your face so you don’t breathe the burning, carcinogenic fumes and smash some sulphur off the side of the mountain. Then carry it all back down in a basket on your back and you’ll be payed about $10 a day for your troubles. Winning.
2. Poultry Processor
Working in an abattoir probably isn’t all that appealing to most of us, but when you add in the smell of wet feathers to the omnipresent odours of blood and excreta, Poultry Processor has got to be up there on the Top Ten Worst Jobs. Yes, spending your work day ankle deep in chicken guts apparently creates a staff turnover rate that is five times the average.
1. Urine Farmer
Animal urine has many uses from fertilizers to hunting lures and because of this someone needs to farm it! Whether it’s in a rabbit urine factory or a deer farm, a Urine Farmer needs to collect the urine and bottle it up ready for distribution.
