I may have been here for the flat-pak revolution, but I can assure you my role was passive. I like my furniture to be solid, pre-built and hand delivered. I like to watch it being taken off the truck and put in the house. I like to stare at the dove-tail joints and run my hand along the richly coloured timber that once was a tall tree.
Nothing good can come from buying flat-pak.
It’s a myth. A falsehood most probably originating in some dark clandestine Scandinavian think-tank brain-storming session. The same place they thought up those raw fish roll-up things.
Recently I was talking to a quality control officer at my local aged care facility. She told me flat-pak was created to appeal to female consumers. It’s designed around the way women think and work. The big mistake, she says, is that most women get men to assemble the furniture and that’s where the problems start.
I told her flat-pak shopping was a Scandinavian myth. I told her repeatedly, I even wrote it down for her. And as I was being escorted from the facility, I told her again.
People buy flat-pak thinking they’re shopping well. They give it to someone to assemble thinking they’re bonding well. Eight hours later they’re staring at a bit of furniture they think goes well. The only well is the deep hole consumer reality falls into.
Trust me, flat-pak is a myth.
Keep calm, till next time. LF
